Learning to Love: Let Your Barriers Down
Posted: Tuesday, April 21, 2009
by Val Silver
TapInfinity
Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it. - Rumi
Reading this quote elicited a loud "AMEN" from my spirit. In a flash it was revealed to me that to seek and find the barriers to Love within myself, and to dissolve them, was the main goal of my last few years of energy healing and spiritual work. I could see how I've evolved from being a walled-in soul, to someone who chooses to see her world from a place of Love. The work may take a lifetime, yet the feeling inside makes it worth it all.
We tend to confuse Love with the feeling of affection reserved for the chosen few we call lovers, family or friends. This is love. These relationships can be wonderful and nurturing, although often conditional. It is not the Love spoken of in COM or the Agape Love spoken of in scripture and spiritual teachings. .
Why not seek Love? Can it be sought and found? Or is it like the air we breathe, waiting to be taken in at every breath? Scripture says, "God is Love." It is unconditional and pure. I believe Love is the highest vibration of energy. To the measure we are open to Love, it flows in and around and through us in an abundant, never-ending supply.
So if Love is so wonderful, why do we create barriers to it?
As much as we think we desire Love, we fear it because the light of Love exposes us and shows us who we truly are. You may think I'm implying that we'll see our dark side, and that may be so. What can be even scarier is to see the magnificence within, waiting for an opportunity to express itself. Love challenges us to open ourselves to itself within and around us, to allow it to change us in ways that may be at odds with our belief systems and habits.
And I can promise that Love will change you. Perhaps what it does is open us to a higher expression of ourselves, while letting go of what no longer serves the highest good. I once read that if you were to burn off a lifetime of thoughts, words and deeds, all that would remain was that which was made of Love. That led to some soul searching!
What are the barriers to Love?
Many. Here are some examples.
We wall off our hearts to protect them from being hurt again.
To varying degrees we 'shut out' those who are different from us.
We judge others and ourselves.
We stay in the victim and blame mode.
We oppress, victimize and violate others.
We feel threatened and fear that Love will ask us to do something we may not want to do.
You get the idea. These constructs of our minds, as attached to them as we may be, act as barriers that separate us from our true selves and others. They keep Love out.
"But I don't want to get hurt!"
Nobody does! But the simple truth is that if you have a wall up against pain, it is up against love. And the pain is still there, locked inside. Let it go. The joys of experiencing an open heart far outweigh the hurts that sometimes come our way.
Note: None of this means you have to open yourself to abuse of any kind or stay in it, that's not love.
So start seeking the barriers within yourself and let your walls come down.
Don't be afraid. Realize you will receive much more than you are letting go.
Start with little things. Allow yourself to feel and experience the wonders of nature, even a tiny flower in all its glory. Love made that.
Realize we are all in this together. There are seven billion of us, along with multitudes of living creatures on a planet hurtling through space at thousands of miles per hour. Love holds us together.
Consider someone you have hardened your heart against. Can you soften just a bit as you think of this person? Perhaps send a blessing? You'll be amazed at how relieved your body and mind begins to feel. Love is expansive, walls are constrictive.
This next idea may be quite difficult for some of you. You must dissolve the barriers to loving yourself. So much of what we project onto others is really about what's going on inside ourselves. Experience the healing power of loving yourself and love for others will flow easily.
As you bring the wall down, or even allow cracks to form, Love will start rushing in. It has always been there waiting.
"There is nothing but love, and all else is illusion." Dr. John Demartini
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More commentsGreat article. Well done.Some great words of wisedom to remember.
Wonderful article, Val. True, unconditional love. God, children, and puppies.A very lucky person you are when you have and can give that type of love.Sandra
Love is definitely the glue that holds it all together. Good article.Well said, Love is the glue. Val
Excellent article Val! Even scripture tells us "without love you have nothing" and it isn't speaking of the sexual love. I try everyday to see people as God would see them.God blessYes, it is the highest purest energy. Love doesn't always suit our human "egos", but all the more reason to embrace it. Val
hi val,this was an excellent article, and all i believe in.the walls took forever, but i have melted them down pretty far, and the pain was immense each step it took, but well worth it.some people don't believe in change and growth, they think all is well just as it is. denial keeps them from experiencing new situations and new people.after working on the layers for so long now, i just say, "come on, bring it on, let's get it over with, and on with life and the next step."thanks for sharing this,my best regards,sueGood for you Sue! You are an inspiration to all of us!. And you are right- I don't think most people, including ourselves sometimes, realize that it's a lot less painful in the long run to just let it go than to try to live with it or worse, bury it. Hope all is going well for you.
Val
I agree with you Val when you say, " Love yourself and love for others will flow easily". It's easier to be happy with others when you're happy with yourself first. Great article.Thanks for commenting Brianna, I totally agree. You can only give what you know and what you have. Val
Wonderful article, Val, and so true. We often do harden our hearts. Taking the first step can make all the difference.Thanks for sharing such insight.NancyThanks Nancy, Yes, most of the time I don't think we even realize it. Val
Val, this was a wonderful article, I love my God, I know that, and my wife and children, and grandchildren, and would give my life for them hands down. I have barriers and walls however that are somewhat, at times, hard to bare. Those of us that have been through wars, (mine was Vietnam), I didn't feel love over there, and that is where my walls were built. I had to kill over there Val, and its hard finding love for those that are trying to kill you. A lot of folks express sometimes how easy this is to do, but it's really not that easy to bring down those walls, even after all of those years have past. I say these things with a heavy heart. Life is not a bed of roses that we can just forget. I was up close and personal with it. Love is as you say, a wonderful thing, and I invite it into my life every chance I get, but after what those of us that have been in a war, its hard to throw those walls to the wind, I am hoping that before I die....I can do what you are saying, I do have faith in my Lord..hopefully I will fully realize what you are saying, and try to practice it. Great thought provoking article, and a wonderful read.....Your fan, and friend in pen......GaryHi Dear Gary,
Your words touched my heart. Our veterans, especially those from Vietnam, carry a suffering most of us cannot understand. Yet I know in my heart of hearts that it is the very thing you resist, that will heal you. We all as humans deal with this on some level. I do believe that growing into love is one of our human life-long lessons.
Have you ever heard about Corrie ten Boom? Her story of forgiving and loving the Nazis who imprisoned her and her family (she was the only one left alive) is one we all would benefit from knowing.
Gary, if you'd like to contact me through my email I can send you some resources that I know from my own experience, and that of vets like you, that can really help you lighten the load you are carrying. (Don't think I can send the link in here, even though there's no-cost.) Looking forward to hearing from you. Val
"Realize you will receive much more than you are letting go."Great article, Val. Lots of insight and sound advice.
yes it was helpful. I am a counselor and wanted to do a group session on overcoming barriers to loving ourselves. I am reading a book by Louise L. Hay in which she makes the statement that "there is only one thing that heals every problem and that is: to love yourself". I do believe that we fear love because it reflects things in us that go against our beliefs...and we get comfortable with those beliefs long after they have served their purposes. We would rather deal with familiar pain then to face our fear of change. Love requires that we risk being vulnerable. It requires that we let go of our way of thinking. It requires that we trust the process. It is so difficult to trust the things that we cannot trace or predict.Thank you for sharing your insightful thoughts here. Great quote.
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