It's Been A Difficult Month
Posted: Sunday, March 22, 2009
by Val Silver
TapInfinity
This month has been full of challenges. It started with a cold. No big deal right? Just snuggle up with a box of tissues and hot tea for two weeks and all is well. How lucky for me it even hit the night my winter vacation started so I could stay home and rest (instead of doing the hundred things I had planned).
Then, a week into my cold, my father-in-law died. This was three days after going to the nursing home for Alzheimer's. In many ways a blessing we would say. Still a big loss for my husband who adored his dad. And a huge one for my mother-in-law, his wife of 65 years. Their anniversary ended three hours before he died. He was lucid the day before- long enough to tell his wife he loved her.
I felt so powerless. I listened to my intuition, gave him healing energy, did everything in my bag of tricks. His pile of supplements is still in the kitchen. Yet the last few weeks he was wasting away before our eyes. The inevitable was all too obvious.
So I listened to the voice inside me getting louder and louder. Maybe it was the exhaustion of sleepless nights getting up with him, fearing he was suffering more than he was letting on, and grieving for the loss to come that was speaking louder. I don't know.
He passed a week and a day ago. Even though my exhaustion began to lift and I started getting enough sleep, that sick feeling accompanied by a fever signaled the arrival of the flu. Like I said, it's been a hard month.
The good news is that I'm on the mend, physically and emotionally. I do know that in the past, the situation would have caused me to torture myself with self-abasing inner talk for years. Thankfully, it only lasted a few days this time. Yes, I miss him and cry sometimes. It's normal healthy, healing grief, and I'm okay with that. For the most part, I've made peace with the decision of that fateful day as well.
To see the silver lining in the cloud, I am happy to see that all the emotional healing and spiritual work I've done these past few years is paying off. It's interesting to notice how my ways of responding to life's challenges have changed for the better. And yes, I've done more healing work this month, lots more. (Tap, tap, tap). And no doubt always will. Now where are those tissues?
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More commentsVal, you have have a rough month! I am sorry for your losses and glad that you are on the mend. Here ya go -. I'm glad you shared with us. Thanks Lorrie for your sympathies. Appreciate it. Val
You're in my prayers, Val. Sometimes it takes someone with your stength to get through the trials that are passed our way. May God be with you.SandraThank you Sandra. Thankfully we always seem to be given the strength we need as life's trials arise.It may not always be easy, but we get through. Val
my dear i cry with you for the month has been realy challenging espcially here in nigeria but we shall pass through it.Yes, we get through one day at a time, just do that. Val
My sympahty for you. A heart touching story. Thank you for shraring it wih us.SwapnaThank you for commenting, Swapna, nice to "meet" you. Val
So sorry to hear you have had such a rough month. I agree with Teresa, great things will come from this trial. In my experiences they always have even when I did not think so. Hope you get to feeling better soon.Thank you for your kind words. And yes, I agree with you. We come out stronger and "refined by the fire". Val
Oh Val my dearest. I certainly know where you are coming from, Shilo, my Austrailian Shepard is getting close to the same destiny, as your best friend. I am dreading it....I don't heal very well from these things....It stays with me, what seems to be forever. Here is a briefly written poem for you, for your dog, and for you. Hope you like it.Your beloved friend,your dog was to you,was always by your side,when you were blue.Unconditional love,Is what she gives,to be your pal,for as long as she lived.Grieve for your friend,it is in the cards,remember those days,Laughing and romping in the yard.They make you smile,when you are down,looking up at you,with those eyes of brown.In a better place,is where she went,to romp in the grass,where she was sent.There is a heaven,for dogs I'm sure,and in that thought,you'll find your cure.To reunite your friendship,That is a must,one day again with your best friend,for in you, she will always trust.God is watching her now,I know this to be true,So that when you go to heaven,She will again be with you.I hope and pray, it makes you smile my friend. God bless and keep you in his presence.....Your pal, and friend in pen......Gary.Thank you Gary, for the lovely poem. I will treasure it. It brought tears to my eyes. I hope you submit it so many others can be blessed by it.
I know the grief wants to take over, but allow yourself to enjoy your Shiloh every day that you have left together. That would be the greatest gift you could give "your baby". They are so attuned to us. Duke would get up and leave when I cried over him- guess he told me. My mantra became, let it be peaceful and easy. My heart is with you. Val
Val,While I had already read your article, it popped up through Readers' Club so I read it again and found Gary's poem. I am so glad I gave it a second read. What a tribute to get a Halsey poem!Again, welcome back,Nancy
I am sorry too...life sometimes become so harsh on us that we could not acquire strength within ourselves.Thanks for sharing it with us all.God bless you abundantly...Thank you for your words. Let's hope for better days ahead for all of us. Val
Was in the same position with our best friend of...19 years. Neither of us wanted it to end I guess. Your article brought back a flood of emotions - good ones of better days. Thanks.Thank you for sharing- 19 years wow- Funny how the emotion stays for so long, isn't it? I know how you feel. I'll still cry over my German shepherd I lost 25 years ago if I start talking about losing her. She was my dearest friend.
Hi Val, yes, I can certainly see how it was a difficult month.God bless you. I can certainly sympathize with you about your dog. I'v always loved dogs as much just about as people, and I have had to see a number of them go. I have one now who is 14 years old, I think that adds up to 98 in dog years. He is almost deaf, almost blind and, seems to be losing his mind. He doesn't even seem to recognize me at times. But he is well physically and eats as good as ever so I can't bear to put him away.Hi Joel,
You just keep loving your old friend as long as he keeps eating and wanting to be with you. No reason to let him go until you know it's time. The vet told me dogs can get Alzheimer's too. I think Duke had a touch of it- sometimes he'd bark at nothing. OR the wall. All the best. ValI believe Mitch must have alzheimers also. He stands and barks a lot, for no reason nor does he seem to looking at anything. Bless his little heart, he has been a pleasure.
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